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Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am a-tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London an stay as a-younga cristan man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep whit no shit i my bed? So I calla down to the receptione and tella: "I wanta shit". They tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No,no I wanta shit in my bed". They say: "You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch". What is sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: "I wanta piss". She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "I wata piss on my plate". She then say to me: "You'd bloody not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch".
That is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonna-wa-bitch", an why is your staff replying "Go to toilet", is that a modern tella? I do no understand, Please tella me!
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock". And she tella me: "Sure, everyone wanta fock". I say: "No,no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table". She tella me: So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!
How comma this cristian hotel tella the guest in such bad manner?
So I go to receptioneand ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: "Thank you and piss on you". I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch, I go back to Italy".
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.
Sincerely
Dicci Elgre
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